Unsolicited Coaching Advice: The Art of Saying the Right Thing, the Right Way, at the Right Time

As a coach, you quickly learn that communication is more than just the words you say—it’s how you say them, when you say them, and who you're saying them to. In fact, saying the right thing is great, but saying it the right way, at the righttime, with the right tone and body language? That's the real magic. And trust me, if you’ve ever had that one moment where you delivered the perfect line but it landed like a lead balloon, you know exactly what I’m talking about.

Here’s the deal: The way you communicate to your team doesn’t just affect the relationship you have with them—it influences how they communicate with each other. Think about it. If you’re constantly barking orders and giving advice without consideration, it’s not just your team’s performance that will suffer. Their ability to connect with one another and communicate effectively, in both good times and bad, will also take a hit. So yeah, the right thing is important—but let’s not forget the how and when.

The "right thing" to say isn’t always universal. That’s why knowing your athletes inside and out is the real coaching skill that separates good from great. What’s the right thing to say to one player might sound like a complete mismatch for another. Some guys thrive off hard, no-nonsense feedback. Others need a more gentle approach or a little extra encouragement. As a coach, part of your responsibility is to understand the unique personalities, quirks, and needs of the individuals you're working with. You’ve got to be able to adjust your approach to suit the player, not just throw out blanket advice and call it a day.

But let’s break it down even further—because the right words are only half the equation. Sure, saying the right thing is step one, but how you say it is where it really counts. Tone is everything. You could say the most motivational thing ever, but if you say it in a way that sounds disinterested, frustrated, or downright annoyed, it’s gonna fall flat. Tone sets the vibe. It tells your players how much you care, how much you believe in them, and whether or not you’re on the same page.

And then there’s body language. Let’s be real—your body language can speak louder than your words. If you’re delivering a pep talk with your arms crossed, your eyes on the ground, or your head down, what message are you really sending? Not the one you intend, I can tell you that much. The body is a powerful communicator. When you’re confident, engaged, and present in the moment, your team will feel that energy. They’ll see it in your posture, your eye contact, and your gestures. Your message will land with the impact it deserves.

So, what’s the goal? The goal is to master the art of saying the right thing, the right way, and at the right time. This is where true leadership happens—when you can speak to your players in a way that connects with them, motivates them, and builds trust. And it’s not just about doling out advice. It’s about understanding the moment, feeling the atmosphere, and adjusting your communication style accordingly.

In the end, coaching isn’t about what you say—it's about how you say it and how your players feel it. When you nail that, you’re not just a coach. You’re a leader. And that’s how you create a team that’s ready to take on anything—together.